When I was 16 I had a Social Studies teacher; a mild-mannered, tall, slightly burly man in his early 30s who took class with a dry, bemused humour. Well, girls are to gossip as matches are to fire. So inevitably, someone knew someone who had seen him with a woman and that's about all we needed to concoct endlessly elaborate hypotheses. Even without the mystery woman, he was one of the 'cooler' teachers.One day in class we were discussing the TEE, the big matriculation exams, and discussing what we'd do at uni. I asked him, "Should you do what you're good at, or what you like?"
He replied, "For most people, that's the same thing."
My reply SHOULD have been "What the hell kind of answer is that? Are you implying I'm big-noting myself simply by making the distinction between ability and enthusiasm? Aren't you meant to be encouraging kids to bigger futures, not belittling their concerns?"
That's the way it happens in my head anyway. I prefer it immensely to what actually happened:
MING: Oh, Ok
-end scene-
It went pear-shaped for me, direction-wise, after that. I had observed I was good at things I didn't necessarily like so much, and that I wasn't as good as I wanted on things I did like. Just because I can do something above mediocrity isn't a sign from God that I've found my calling! (Is it?) Alternatively, it seemed dumb to ignore perfectly good skills whilst trying to nurture fledgling ones that didn't come quickly or naturally. (Is it?)
So began what has now turned out to be nearly a decade's worth of double-guessing. Was that a life-changing epiphany, or a passing fancy? My personal watershed, or figment of my imagination? Someone once told me to be fearless. Yet fearless to me at one moment looks completely moronic the next. I clearly have a magnet next to my personal compass.
When I make big decisions I mostly spend time persuading myself, riding the seesaw of my judgment. That I would be stupid/blind/courageous/stubborn enough to stick to my guns more often. But seriously, is it asking too much for a sign? I don't need a red carpet, maybe just an email, or even an IM from a reasonably well-known deity would suffice.
Hermes, Vishnu, anyone?
What do you do at big decision time? Hit me up on the comments.
3 comments:
Doesn't look like there is an easy answer to your question to the teacher (smart kid you were eh, to ask one of life's unanswerables!). I was going through a bit of that this year, as I struggled to convert myself from one kind of academic to another (ie from doing what was easier to learning from scratch some crazy difficult theory). After a good number of months I am actually happy I made the conversion, and I seem to have ridden out the toughest parts of the climb. Because this harder stuff 1)is more meaningful (eg. with greater importance to changing the world); 2)makes me think much harder, equipping me with valuable skills to surmount harder theory, not to mention makes me think faster and more analytically, important traits in my line of work; 3) the easier stuff is going to get me by, but is life just about getting by?
I say you go find your old teacher and ask him the same question.
"It's what ever makes you happy..."
To be honest, i don't think everyone can always find something they like/are good at. Sometimes, it's a matter of finding that happy point of compromise.
And sometimes, an answer comes and hits you in the face without you realising it.
I hadn't even thought about going into the private sector till recently because i thought it would be difficult to value people in that line of work. It took an offer from out of the blue to make me see that it was possible to do what i liked and was good at (managing people)in a different field as well.
So be courageous! But be prepared to compromise to find that sweet spot.
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