Macktastic Goes to Work

Image from Phil's post

For those who suspect me of constantly faffing around, frittering my savings and my life on travel and dancing (is ok, I'm first in that queue)...I have evidence of work! haHA!

I went to Singapore for a few days last month to style the pictures for a book. A whole three days was spent in a studio, knee deep in spices, wine and takeaway packs of every kind of Asian food money could buy, plus the odd crab. AND I got to go to the crockery wholesalers and pick all kinds of cute plates out. So exciting!

Even more swoon-inducing: We got the food and wine, I laid it out, and Collin the photographer shot it(!) Then, we stood around discussing for a few minutes, and we were off to the next shot!

In advertising, shoots are of course a bit more common than the smaller publishing budgets allow. But so many noses are poked into your business, you might as well not bother. I was working on a shoot for Chicken Essence once–there is only one BRAND you might think of there..and I had to artfully arrange 9 packs of eye-gougingly hideous, cheena-looking product for the "1st prize" shot in the competition leaflet. Oh. My. Gawd.

I thought I'd get it over with and get to lunch. It'll be on a pad, on a bit of string, between packet soup and toilet paper. Just keep it simple, right? Nej!

After leafing through the 5 arrangements I had to draw for the client, they agreed on one with the accounts person from the agency (like John Travolta's hair, clients' existence was based mostly on belief and very little actual evidence). Then I had to arrange it exactly how it had been drawn and we emailed it back. Then we had to wait around for client to reply that "err acherlly, I think the option number 2, like, more dynamic". Rinse and repeat until some rubbery bits of tofu and a few strands of noodles are your only choice in the foodcourt.

So, was a big thrill to go in with ideas and have them realised. It was not without hardships, which included:
• a hunt through a whole bag of coriander for the exact. perfect. leaf.
• Phil gamely going through the rubbish for a 3rd knobbly lime
• getting the damn chicken and the slippery skin to sit. just. so.

Finished tired but satisfied :)

Suck it, Monster!!

Damn straight

Dear Monster,

You may have noticed I disabled my account on your site. That's because I have new plans now, for my career and my life. Fulfilling, inspired, outrageous plans. Plans that I didn't get from you. The only opportunities you provide people is a lengthy one-way trip to Sucksville, with free tickets to Spamapalooza.

Your contribution to my jobsearch thus far has been a relentless barrage of "updates"which were consistently the most pathetic, anaemic collection of outdated, unrelated, unappealing positions. For the last time, I DON'T want to do PR for the Navy. The US armed forces is going to need much more than a professional lipstick applier anyway, to remedy what ails them.

That position was on there for at least 6 months. Which begs the question, has anyone EVER got a job from your site?? I am wont to think your business plan goes more like this:
Revenue from ads for grad schools and selling contacts to spam companies-90%
Revenue from employers-10%

So, good riddance from my Inbox, Monster updates, I am off to a better life, free from the humiliation of being part of your ginormous UNsuccess stats. Don't let the application hit you on the ass when it closes!

Best Regards,
customer #567890163228

P.S. I know you don't care, but I disabled my portfolio blog too. Hah!

Graffiti Book Launch

One of the fake titles I place after my name is 'travel writer' and one of the publications helping to keep the facade in place, is the Graffiti Travel Guide: Singapore. It's a collection of locals writing about places they love in Singapore, set out in an arty kind of way. I wrote a shopping spread for it (but can't show it yet, cos still waiting on the PDF) and they're having the big launch party this Friday in Singapore which I'm very sad to be missing. There's going to be much alcohol and government-approved spray painting; a combination I just don't see often enough.

If you wanna go, email me for the rsvp number, and here's the cute invite:

And here's some of the other inside spreads:

I can't wait to get my copy in the mail!

Lookit! My book cover on Singapore TV!

Just to prove I haven't been faffing around getting attached to the couch.